Life Lessons

Well, the kids little puppy Sampson died the day before yesterday. We have had him since May when we moved to the farm. He was a Corgie mix that we got from my aunt. He was just about the cutest thing ever. He looked like a miniture size coyote. He had such a sweet little personality. A couple of days before he just started acting not like hisself. He just laid out by the water dish. He would respond to me when I called him but he would not come up to eat. I thought he was just hot and he would eat later when we cooled off. Well he didn't.

After a couple of days like that I had decided he need to go to the vet, but it was to late. Serenity had gone out to check on him. She found him under the house unable to move. She had brought him to the door with such worry in her face and voice. I went out and I could tell it was bad. He would look at you but that was about all the response I could get.

So I went and laid him down in a shady spot and ordered the kids to go play. I knew it would be anytime. My mind was going a hundred miles an hour on hour to handle it, with the dog and the kids. I thought of how I could "put him out of his misery" but I knew I didn't have it in me to do it. I just kept saying to myself "I hate this! I hate this!" I just didn't know what to do so I just kept checking on him until he was gone.

I went and found a box and quickly removed him from sight before the kids noticed me, crying like a baby the whole time. I made it back in the house unnoticed to only meet Serenity wanting to know how Sampson was doing. Crap! I told her he had passed and her response was "I think youre joking." I told her I wasn't and she just lost it. My heart just broke and I cried with her. She cried for hours. Finally I told her if she would just stop crying she could get another puppy. It helped but didn't make things perfect.

These are the life lessons that I wish I could shield them from. I hated watching her heart break and all I wanted to do was make it all go away for her. Sometimes being a parent is just unbelievably hard, and this is just the beginning.

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